As your loved one grows older, he might start to develop memory problems. This is frustrating for him, of course, but also for you. Communication can become more difficult, necessitating a change in how you share information with each other.

When you tell your loved one, “You need to brush your teeth before you go to bed,” that’s too far in advance for it to make sense if he has memory issues. Instead, give him that reminder when you’re helping him to get ready for bed. “Okay, now it’s time to brush your teeth.” That reminder is in context with what he’s already doing and it makes more sense to him.

Written reminders and notes around the house can really help your loved one if he has memory problems. Make sure that you talk to your loved one about them so that they feel less like orders or commands and more like what they are, which is gentle reminders. Work out different places that your loved one needs reminders and have him contribute to the list.

When you do leave written notes and reminders, they need to be specific. Any generalization is more likely to confuse your loved one than to make anything easier for him. Instead of a note on the fridge telling him that he has a doctor’s appointment later this week, include the date of the appointment, the doctor’s name, and the time of the appointment. This type of reminder is more likely to be effective, especially if there’s an easy way for your loved one to see the current date and time near that reminder.

Open-ended questions are those that ask your loved one to provide an answer from any of the possible answers. Questions that are closed ask for a choice, but from a selected set of answers. For example, “What do you want to eat for a snack?” is an open-ended question and is more likely to confuse a loved one who has memory issues. “Would you like an apple or a pear for a snack?” is a closed question. You’re giving your loved one two options from which to choose.

Put a cork board or a dry erase board somewhere visible and write down all of the important items for the day. You might want to be really specific and include meals, snacks, and bed times or you might want to be more general. If you know someone will be visiting, that’s a good item to list. Appointments, errands, and times that elderly care providers will be coming by are also good to add.

As you and your loved one become more accustomed to some of these tips, you’ll likely find others that work for your particular situation.