Reddit is one of many social media sources with online forums and support for people caring for a family member with Alzheimer’s. One question that comes up often is whether it’s okay to admit that caring for a parent with Alzheimer’s is too much physically, mentally, and emotionally. Is it okay to admit that Alzheimer’s care might be your best option?
An AARP study found that 35% of unpaid caregivers are helping someone with memory problems. A third of family caregivers helping a parent with Alzheimer’s find the care difficult to manage. There’s an incredible sense of guilt when you feel that it’s just too much, but should it be this way?
The Double Role of Family Caregivers
People with Alzheimer’s aren’t always diagnosed well after an adult child has retired. For many family caregivers, caregiving is paired with a full-time job, children still living at home, and a household to maintain. Add your mom’s home, her insistence that she doesn’t want to move, and your desire to keep your house and not have to move in with your mom.
The average family caregiver spends just over 22 hours a week helping a parent. Alzheimer’s can increase that to an around-the-clock need, especially when wandering and sundowning kick in. You cannot leave your mom alone, even if she does move in with you or vice versa. It’s hard to balance your job, personal life, family life, self-care needs, and your mom’s care.
It’s Okay to Admit You Can’t Do it All
Caregiving is stressful, and not everyone is equipped to handle it. One study found that 40% of Alzheimer’s or dementia patients outlived their family caregivers. It’s a very stressful and emotionally, physically, and mentally demanding job. Depression is a high risk in people caring for a parent with Alzheimer’s.
For this reason, it’s okay to admit you can’t do it all. Ignore anyone who tells you you’re being a lousy child and that your parent never gave up on your care. They’re not you. They do not know the family dynamics, how much stress you’re able to endure, and how your mental, physical, and emotional health is. Ignore them and focus on taking care of yourself.
It’s Time to Call In the Help of Alzheimer’s Care Aides
When caring for your mom is too much, hire an Alzheimer’s care aide to help out. Alzheimer’s care services help your mom with her showers, skin care, oral care, nail care, and other grooming and hygiene tasks. They’ll help her get dressed and let her do the things she’s still able to do independently.
Your mom’s Alzheimer’s care aide can cook her meals, do the laundry, clean her home, and drive her to her appointments. You’re free to help out in the areas you want to, but you’re no longer stressed while trying to balance your job, your social life, your family life, your self-care, and your mom’s care needs.
If you or an aging loved one are considering Alzheimer’s Care in Lafayette, CA please contact the caring staff at Aviva In-Home Care Today! (415) 463-1400
Aviva In-Home Care provides exceptional senior home care in the Bay Area, including San Francisco, Burlingame, San Mateo, Hillsborough, Atherton, Menlo Park, Palo Alto, Berkeley, Lafayette, Orinda, and surrounding areas.
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