You see what you’re doing as just helping your loved one out, but she feels like you’re taking over. You might be shocked to find that you could both be a little bit right.
There’s a Difference
It’s a fine line between helping and dictating to your loved one. You might not even notice when you’ve crossed it, but your loved one likely did. As far as she’s concerned, she might need some help now and again, but she’s not willing to be rolled over like a steamroller. Failing to notice when your loved one isn’t feeling as helped as you’d like can lead to friction between you and she might even refuse current and future help.
Ask Instead of Assuming
Even if you know that your loved one needs your help, it’s a good rule of thumb to ask her if you can help her with a particular situation. This turns a little bit of the control back over to your loved one without throwing your hands up in the air over the issue. If there’s only a part of a given situation that your loved one wants help with, respect that.
Respect Your Loved One’s Position
In fact, practice respecting the entire situation with your loved one. She’s in a position now where she’s having to rely more and more often on the help of other people. If she turns down your offer of hiring elder care providers, for example, it’s most likely because she may not like the idea of having to have that level of help in the first place. It’s a difficult spot to be in.
Focus on Safety and What You Can Do that Is Helpful
Whenever you can, focus on keeping your loved one’s home as safe as you possibly can. Offer to make household repairs for her or do a safety check of the house with her. Let your loved one know that her safety is what you are most concerned about. Keeping your loved one’s wishes in perspective with her safety can help you to walk that fine line.
Helping your elderly loved one doesn’t have to be a battle between the two of you. Sometimes taking a step back and revamping your approach is all you need to do.
If you or an aging loved one are considering hiring professional elder care in Orinda, CA, call the caring staff at Aviva In-Home Care. Call today: (415) 795-2203
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